Forever in Your Mind
by Shikon Angel
Summary: Inuyasha has suffered greatly. His wife died while pregnant and he has been forced to give 2 of his children up for adoption. After 2 years have passed will inuyasha be reunited with his children, and possibly find love in a woman who's had to face demons
1. Her dream is her reality

Forever in Your Mind

Ch 1

Her Dream has Been Her Reality

Disclaimer:... Do I really have to say it? Grrrr Fine I don't own Inuyasha

Has there ever been a time in your life where everything has been going so wrong that you feel nothing will ever be right again? That's how I used to feel. Then by some miracle, they came into my life and changed my perspective on everything. They filled the empty space that was slowly destroying my heart and led me to the love of my life. Rough around the edges he may be, but I could never see myself loving anyone else to the same extant as I do him.

I warn you. This story is no Fairytale. It is a story of mourning, heartbreak, acceptance, and realization, but even after going through all that turbulence the outcome was still worth it. I have never felt so complete.

So tell me…are you ready for it. I am.

It was just another one of those mornings for the Takahashi's. The washing machine was rumbling, the dryer was tumbling, and breakfast was sitting on the table, steaming hot. The table was set for five, soon to be six, thought the mother of the household, who was stroking her growing stomach, which held the soon to be new addition of the family. Her hands were soon joined by two bigger, but equally as loving hands.

"Not too much longer now nay?" Kikyou looked back over her shoulder toward her loving husband. "I say next time you get to be pregnant", she said with a sigh. Inuyasha just chuckled at his tired wife and kissed her on the forehead.

The peaceful moment was soon interrupted by an eruption of giggles and gagging noises. Inuyasha sped around the kitchen entry and swept up the three sources of noise. "Daddy" They all squealed at the same time.

"And just what do you think you rascals are up to this time?", Inuyasha said while ruffling their hair. "Spying on you", chirped Rin the youngest. Kikyou laughed as she rolled her eyes and continued pouring orange juice into the glasses that had been set onto the table.

"Daddy can we play baseball today, so I can try out my new mitt that I just got?" Asked Souta, the youngest. "Sorry squirt Daddy's got a job to get to", Inuyasha said as he sat Rin down in her high chair. "Aww Dad can't you just not go, just this once" whined Shippo, the middle child. "Sorry bud, I can't Daddy's got lots of people counting on him being there."

Inuyasha looked down upon the distinct frowns that sat upon each of the kid's faces and let out a sigh. "All right how about I take tomorrow off and all five of us get out and go do something." "Yay", all three of them chorused. Satisfied with the appeased look on their faces, Inuyasha reached down for his suitcase, and headed toward the door.

"You're not going to eat breakfast with us", said Kikyou slightly disappointed. Inuyasha walked up to his wife and picked up her hands, holding them to his lips. "I'll get home as soon as I can so we can all have dinner together okay darling." Kikyou smiled and waved to him as he walked out to his car and drove away.

My day didn't quite start like that…

It all began with a dream I had often been having. I would wake up to three smiling faces all eagerly tugging me out of bed. I would get up and fix them all breakfast making their eggs each a different way in order to satisfy their individual taste buds. As they would catch their busses to school I would stand on a wooden porch watching them wave goodbye to me as I said my daily 'I love you' and 'Have a great one'. Just as I would turn around to head back in, strong arms would embrace me from behind, and gentle lips would kiss my temple and nuzzle my hair. This was no doubt my husband, and just as I would turn my head to lock gazes with my sweet and tender lover everything would disappear…after all this was only a dream.

A little glimpse of perfection that always left you wanting more.

This was reality. I had woken up at six' o clock on our lumpy old sofa, where I had sat up half the night waiting or Kouga to come home. I fell asleep at half past one when I realized he wouldn't be coming home tonight. This had been going on for quite a while now. I would spend endless hours waiting for him to come home to me, and when he did finally come home it was as if I was still alone in an empty house.

Kouga and I had married at a very young age I had been only sixteen at the time, and he had been this older confident eighteen year old that I had been fawning over since we were kids. I had grown up in a very poor household with my three sisters and my mother. My father had been long gone, having deserted us when my youngest sister Yuka had just been born, some hussy of a secretary had a firm grip on his heart and he hadn't even given us a second glance. My mother had scorned all men after that, and she had taught my sisters to be the same way. I couldn't help but dream though that my life wouldn't be like that. I had met Kouga when I first had started middle school; he was charming and had warmth to him that used to make my knees go weak. We had dated for three years, when he decided he wanted to make our relationship solid. I of course had no qualms about this, I was in love and wanted to start a life of my own and leave the sadness of my childhood behind.

Things had changed so much since then. We had been married for a year when Kouga and I had started talking about children; we were both ecstatic, me possibly even more so. Three miscarriages later the excitement was drained from my soul and had been replaced with a void. One of nature's most wonderful experiences and I wasn't allowed to partake in it, and what I didn't understand most was Kouga's lack of emotion through this. Not once had he shed a tear or even shown disappointment for not being able to start a family. What was destroying me was having no effect on him. Nothing seemed to matter to him anymore. After his father had died Kouga had inherited the family's business and now it was all he even cared about. All conversations led up to money being made, late nights that he should have spent at home talking and making love to me was now spent in the office. It was like he was slowly severing his life away from me, and all I could do was wait up at night hoping that he would realize that he needed me, but after two consistent years of the same, my hope was fading.

My thoughts were interrupted by a knock at the door. I slumped off of the couch and headed to answer it. I stared through the peephole to see who on Earth was giving me a visit at six thirty in the morning! It was Ginta one of Kouga's colleagues. I unlatched the door, and opened it only to have a bouquet of white roses shoved into my arms. "What's this?", I said out of shock not at all expecting what I had just been given. "Kouga said for me to tell you that he's very sorry that he hadn't come home last night, and he requested that you come to the company's charity ball tonight." I stood there my mouth gaping. Kouga had sent these flowers? He was sorry he didn't come home to me?

Ginta stood uncomfortably on the porch for a few seconds before taking his leave. I didn't even notice him leave; I just kept staring at the lovely bundle of white roses lost in thought.

"Are you sure that was a good thing to do Ginta", said Hakkaku who had been sitting in the passenger seat waiting for his colleague to return from the Ookami household. "I don't see what harm it could do. He's always abandoning her and choosing his work over the person he supposedly loves unconditionally. It's not fair to her, and besides I told her they were from him" said Ginta. "Ya but what if she finds out he didn't send them at all?" "She looked too happy to question whether or not he actually had sent them, and mabe now they can patch things up a little now that she is coming to the charity ball." "What you invited her! Kouga doesn't even know she's going", Hakkaku exclaimed. Ginta chose not to say anything. He just drove.

"Ooooh I swear Inuyasha you own more clothes than most females I've ever encountered, groaned Kikyou to herself as she carried the full heavy basket up the stairs, her ankles in agony. Inuyasha had been getting on her case lately about how she shouldn't be doing such tiring work, and that she was too far along in her pregnancy to be doing those chores, but Kikyou ignored him. If it was one thing she hated it was an untidy house, and while her husband was fully capable of doing his own laundry, it would take him forever to get around to it, and besides that she knew he worked hard, day in and day out, but still always managed to come home to her wearing the smile she had fallen so much in love with. Yes, doing his laundry was the least she could do for him.

After meticulously folding every single shirt, pair of pants, and pairs of socks to perfection Kikyou made her way back downstairs to pour herself a cup of coffee. She never noticed the blue ball sitting in the middle of one of the steps. She sent out a scream of agony as she collapsed down the wooden staircase…she lay on the floor in immense pain. She glanced up at a picture on the wall of her and Inuyasha's wedding. "Inuuuyaasha…she whimpered, and then everything went dark.

**Hey everyone sorry to leave on such a sad note… soooo what did you guys think of it?**

**I decided to tackle another fic. If you're interested check out my other one called The Shikon Surf Angels. **

**Please Review**

**Sincerely**

**Cherryblossombabe**


	2. Tears for Reasons

Forever in Your Mind

Ch. 2

Tears for reasons

Disclaimer: Inuyasha belongs to Rumiko Takahashi

Thank you

StephanieRoxUrSox, yannaenoah, and kagome313

Kouga missed me? It was a question I had been repeatedly asking myself for hours. I know I had missed him, and I was determined to impress him tonight at the ball. I must have gone to every designer store in town trying to find the perfect dress to wear. I knew the right one the second I had tried it on. It was a red strapless dress that contrasted great with my ebony colored hair and complemented my chest and made my waist look more tapered. The backing had ties that created a corset look, and the bottom of the dress was slightly ruffled, making it sway back and forth when I walked. Heads turned as I walked out of the dressing room to look in a bigger mirror. I truly felt elegant.

When I got home I checked my messages, and there was one left from Ginta, Saying that a car would be coming at eight o'clock to take me to the Centre Ball Room, again I felt giddy. I set my hair up into a French twist, making sure every hair was perfectly in place, and set to work on my makeup.

8 o'clock came rolling around sooner than I had expected it too. Feeling as though I did a thorough enough job on my appearance I headed out the door to the white limo that was parked outside, waiting for me. I was feeling a little nervous. I snapped and unsnapped the clasp of my handbag during the whole drive trying to distract myself from being so edgy.

Twenty minutes, an annoyed driver, and a worn out clasp later I arrived at the ballroom, and turned my confidence up a notch before entering the building. To say I was shocked was an understatement. It seems Ginta failed to mention the little detail about how everyone only wears black and white to these kinds of functions. I felt everyone's eyes on me as my face started to blend in with my dress. I completely stood out.

I could feel countless pairs of eyes on my as I passed each room seeking out Kouga. I felt like an outsider as I watched people carry on conversations that were too boring and business like for me to want to weave myself into. Is that all these people knew how to talk about, what happened to careless conversations that involved simple things like the weather we had been having, or how a new café had opened down on first street. Words of mergers, expanding, commerce, and competitive marketing flowed through one ear and out the other as I reached for my first glass of champagne. Where are you Kouga? I felt like a little girl lost in a huge department store, people sweeping by me in every direction as I try to seek out a source of comfort, and that was just my problem. He wasn't anywhere in sight.

After my fourth glass of champagne, hopefully no one had noticed, I spotted Kouga on the staircase that lead to the banquet hall, talking to his newly hired ad campaigner Naraku, Kouga's new hot topic for dinner conversations when he was actually home for dinner. I glanced to Kouga's right arm and found a rather odd thing…it was linked with another arm which belonged to Ayame Iris, Naraku's niece.

"You have been doing an excellent job on running the ad's for me Naraku. I can honestly say I've never seen the business receive so much publicity before. I'm truly glad that you had decided to join our team" I heard Kouga gush to Naraku. Great, more publicity meant more dates with nighttime television for me to add to my agenda.

Ayame was the first one to notice me and I saw her tap Kouga's shoulder acknowledging him to turn his attention in my direction. To say he looked surprised would be an understatement, he looked absolutely shocked to see me standing there. I took a step back as a lump formed in my throat. What was I doing here? Judging by the look on Kouga's face he was wondering the same thing.

Before I knew it I had dropped my champagne glass onto the marble tile of the floor, picked up the bottom of my dress and ran for dear life towards the exit. I paused at the glass door as I caught Ginta's gaze on my back, I looked back at him and he shot me an apologetic glance, and I suddenly understood. I ran out the entrance and onto the sidewalk ignoring the valet's offer to retrieve me a car or catch me a cab.

Inuyasha stood inside his workshop and observed his collection he had finished on. Inuyasha had been born with a talent for constructing just regular pieces of furniture into works of art, and tonight he was putting on his very first showcase. He was going to finally reveal his hidden talent. Cherry oak lined up one side of the room, while rose wood took up the other side, all desks, tables, coffee tables and chairs displayed their polished surfaces and intricate designs.

When he had only been a child Inuyasha was always carving designs into anything he could get his hands on. His most prized work of art didn't belong in a home though, it was rooted to nature, a sacred tree which had been rumored to have been there since the warring states period, Inuyasha always had felt a strange connection to the tree. He had first expressed his undying creativity on its rough knotted bark, and now it held a collage of memories, reminiscent to the eye.

As Inuyasha left his workshop his whole face beamed with pride, and to the world it would seem that nothing could dim the splendor of his smile.

"Souta wait up", Called Shippo desperately trying to catch up to his older brother. They made their way down the block as fast as they could, trying to remain just a little dry. They were on their way back from school and unfortunately their bus stop was a few blocks up the street. He and Souta had found it extremely odd that their mother hadn't been waiting with the car up at the stop to drive them home. 'She always comes to get us when it's raining', Thought Shippo worriedly. "No you hurry up; I don't want to get soaked from all this damn rain." "Oh now you better wait up for me cuz if you don't I'll tell mommy that you used the 'D' word again. Souta let out a growl but reluctantly slowed down not wanting to get tattled on. He didn't see what the big deal was; he was in the fourth grade for crying out load, and besides his dad used the word all the time so why couldn't he.

Thoroughly drenched both boys made it into the house, their clothes dripping water onto the tile of the kitchen, only to find that no snack had been put on the table for them to enjoy. Now both of them knew something was really off. Their mother always left them an after school snack on the table, even if she was off running errands she would leave something out and if she was out she also always left a note.

Souta soon took notice of sound coming from another room. It was crying. "Rin." Souta panicked rushing to see where she was, and there he saw it. His mother, lying face down on the floor, Rin huddled next to her clutching her hand and asking her to wake up. Souta felt the tears well into his eyes when he saw her not even stir. Shippo had come into the room not too many seconds later and started wailing at the sight. Souta who had been taught on what he was supposed to do during an emergency ran for the phone and without hesitation dialed 911. A woman with a stern voice answered the call "911 please state your emergency." Trying hard to fight back the tears in his eyes he choked out "It's my mother…."

"Magnificent, absolutely beautiful." "I'll definitely be looking you up in the future." "You have got a breathtaking talent, and don't you let anyone tell you any different." These were all compliments Inuyasha had received after the showcase as he ushered people out of the room. The showcase had been a huge success. All the pieces of furniture that had been on display had been bided on and purchased, and many requests and orders for different types of wood and furniture had been made. Inuyasha left his now empty workshop with an even more brilliant smile than he had been wearing before. He could finally say that he was going somewhere. That he wasn't just a construction guy who knew how to fix leaks in roofs, or do paint jobs that were long over due. He was headed towards what he had always aspired to do.

But fate just seemed to always throw in a cruel twist, which seemed to shatter your dreams.

He saw the flashing lights up ahead but didn't yet see exactly whose house they were in front of. Has old woman Kaede from down the street have another stroke? Had Kohaku and his groupies been caught selling drugs again? But as Inuyasha drew closer to his house he realized that the lights weren't coming from down the street or across from it. They were coming from his house.

Parking the car alongside the curb, Inuyasha leaped out, forgetting to even turn the ignition off and sprinted towards the porch, where his three kids were sitting, a woman dressed in a police officer's uniform was kneeling in front of them seemingly questioning them.

"What the fuck is going on here!?" Inuyasha demanded startling the officer and causing his three children to look up at him with sad eyes. "Sir I'm going to have to ask you to please calm down." "Like hell I will! What is all of this!?" It was then that Inuyasha saw a man coming out of the house reeling a cart that was carrying a body only the face was covered, but he could see long black hair peek out from underneath the sheet. Inuyasha slumped down to the ground, and began to shake. "No it can't be…it isn't, not her, oh please it can't be her.

Another woman approached Inuyasha, and he recognized her as Sango, his best friend Miroku's fiancé. "Oh Inuyasha I'm so sorry we came here and it was too late, she appeared to have fallen down the stairs and the kids found her… Sango managed to choke out, tears beginning to form in her eyes. Kikyou and Sango had only known each other a little while after her and Miroku had gotten engaged but Inuyasha new that they had become somewhat close often spending their Saturdays going out to lunch, or to shop, or take the kids to the park. The only thing that kept Inuyasha from losing it completely was the sight of his children rushing toward him. Inuyasha held back his tears and embraced them all tightly in his arms. Inuyasha decided he would grieve later when no one was watching. Right now his little ones needed him so that they could let out their tears.

I ran blindly down the street, the rain cascading down harshly causing many tendrils of my hair to fall out of my French twist that I had worked diligently on trying to perfect hours before. It no longer mattered; I had made such a fool out of myself tonight. Out of the corner of my eye I spotted a car which slowed as it neared me. I immediately recognized whose car it was but the bigger question was why was he coming after me? The window rolled down on the passenger side.

"Get in, love." Kouga said softly. I stiffened but complied. Even as I got in looking like a drowned rat and hyped with embarrassment over what had transpired this evening, when Kouga put his arm around my shoulders I managed to feel just a little bit better.

**Hey guys it's been a while. THX again for the reviews hope you enjoyed **

**Please Review**

**Sincerely**

**Cherryblossombabe**


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